Raven Actual

For those who don't already know, today is Earth Day. Celebrated in the US on April 22, it is a day designed to inspire awareness and appreciation for the Earth's environment. It was founded by U.S. Senator Gaylord Nelson as an environmental teach-in in 1970 and is celebrated in many countries every year. This date is Spring in the Northern Hemisphere and Autumn in the Southern Hemisphere.

So, what exactly did I do for Earth Day?

First of all, my alarm clock woke me up as it rang at about 100 decibels, not to mention causing enough noise pollution to wake up half the neighborhood as well. I got out of bed and turned on the lights, each of which contain 100-watt bulbs. There was a lot of work to be done around the house today.

First, I took out all of the trash that had accumulated over the last week. I just mixed it all together so it would be easier to take out. But when I got outside, I had just missed the trash truck. But not to worry--I just took it over to the lake out back and threw it in there.

Getting back to the house, I started on my next task: changing the oil in my car. And can you guess where that went? Into the lake with the trash. Now don't get upset--the water fowl seemed to like it so much that they could hardly pull themselves away from it. And the fish seemed to be turning head over heels in the newly blackened water.

After I changed the oil in my car, I removed the catalytic converter and filled the tank with leaded gas. I put on new tires, and guess where I threw the old ones? Right! They went into the lake too. Now that my car was fixed, I hopped in and gunned that V-8 for a good ten minutes--it was really cool to hear that loud roar and to see all of that black smoke coming out of the back.

I finally hit the road, and I figured that this would be a good time to clean out all of the trash and rotting food in my car, so I just kept throwing the stuff out the window. Unfortunately, I wasn't paying attention to my driving, and I ended up running over a family of endangered kangaroo rats.

I finally got to the taxidermist. And boy did he have good news: the rare spotted owls I had ordered had finally arrived and been stuffed. I liked them so much that I ordered a couple of bald eagles to go with them. We went outside and smoked a few cigars together and caught some UV rays while we were at it. After throwing our unextinguished cigars into the brush, I paid the guy and went to put the spotted owls into the trunk.

Oops, I left the car running the whole time! So I went over to the gas station to fill up again (with leaded gas, of course!). As I pulled away, I kept hoping that the clerk inside wouldn't notice the fuel I accidentally spilled on the ground when I was pulling out the pump after I overfilled my own gas tank.

When I got home, I got the stuffed spotted owls out of the car and decided to get cleaned up. I undressed and went into the bathroom to relieve myself, and I flushed the toilet 10 times to make sure that it went all the way down. I stepped into the shower, and feeling pretty good about it being Earth Day, I decided to take a relaxing bath instead.

After drying off, I groomed my hair using a whole can of hairspray loaded with ozone zapping chlorofluorocarbons and other good stuff. Then, I shaved with my disposable razor and shaving cream containing (guess what) more CFC's. Finally, I finished grooming by spraying on some deodorant containing (you guessed it!) even more CFC's.

Finally, I sat down in front of the TV to watch the news. They had this incredible story about a brushfire that turned into a wildfire, and it coincidentally happened not far from the same taxidermist's shop I had been to earlier in the day. Fortunately for him, the wind was blowing away from his shop, and it blew the fire towards the State Park instead.

And then, this other incredible story came on about how a van of environmental activists got blown up when sparks from their brakes ignited a pool of gasoline that someone had spilled in front of the gas pumps. And the police still had no leads about the poachers who stole two bald eagles from the zoo.

At least the day ended with some good news. The Crime Watch Bulletin was offering a substantial reward to anyone who could provide information leading to the arrest of the person who polluted the same lake right behind my house. Since it wasn't me, I called and reported my neighbor. Ever since I heard him talk about some group called Greenpeace and the environment, I always suspected that they had some wacko environmental agenda. But unlike him, I could feel proud that I had done my part in celebrating Earth Day!

This just in from Jerusalem....archaeologists have recently unearthed a drawing upon a shroud that seems to had been made by an eyewitness, which may prove Jesus Christ's plan to rise from the dead did not go exactly as planned.

This is certainly one of those storms that participants in TQ's Ne.weather Snowfall Contest live for, especially when all reporting stations on the list are in play. You know this is going to be a major snowstorm when most of the state of Alabama gets dumped on with up to 4 inches of snow. In Atlanta, Delta Air Lines, where their home base is located, canceled a few hundred of their flights. 2 to 4 inches was expected. As of 7:00 AM Sunday morning, the surface low was located just west of Savannah, GA and was tracking up along the East Coast to it's current position just off Cape Hattaras, NC.

At this point, some may be thinking "OMG!! Snow in the deep South! MAJOR BLIZZARD!!11!!1!! Granted, this is shaping up to be a major storm, however, we are still a long way off from a storm of Blizzard-of-93 proportions. First, I would want to see such a storm spin up in the Gulf of Mexico. Second, I do not see explosive barometric pressure drops to warrant my hitting the panic button. What I am seeing is a storm that originated in the Midwest that tracked into the southern states, then hangs a hard left upon hitting the coast that also happens to be pulling in a solid shot of cold air, allowing for snowfalls as far south as Alabama and Georgia. Another factor is barometric pressures at the center of the surface low have been holding steady throughout the day as the low has tracked northward. Until I see snowfall forecast totals on the East Coast start approaching 2 feet, no way in my opinion can anyone justify calling this a Megastorm.

At this time, we have only cloudy skies here in the Harrisburg, PA area. The 11:00 local newscast, on the other hand, mentioned light snow was falling in Lancaster, which is 30 miles east of my location, and word around the campfire is Baltimore and Washington D.C. are also reporting light snow. It looks like I am getting screwed out of a major snowfall again.

Based on the projected storm track I saw last night with the computer forecast models, as well as the latest surface analysis, I see this is developing into a classic I-95 Corridor snowstorm. Obviously, this means the majority of the action and heaviest snowfalls will be along the Interstate 95 corridor from Richmond, VA all the way north to the state of Maine. Those of you who follow the Ne.weather Snowfall Forecasting Contest can see my snowfall forecast---my forecaster name is "Raven"---for this storm here.

If, on the other hand, you don't have time for that, here is a brief summary of what I see unfolding for a few select areas:

Norfolk, VA thru Salisbury, MD: I was very hesitant to go hog wild with my numbers last night when I crunched the numbers; had I gone strictly with taking the computer models at face value, I should have gone all-in and called for one foot plus for these coastal areas. I could not buy what the NAM was trying to sell me last night, and I concluded due to close proximity to the ocean, most of what the NAM was trying to sell me would at some point be rain, so I low-balled the numbers somewhat and made the call for 3 inches of snow in Norfolk, and 5 inches of snow for Richmond and Salisbury, but even then I had a considerable amount of reluctance to post those numbers to the point I had to twist my own arm just to type those aforementioned numbers.

Baltimore-Washington D.C. area: Just a guess, but my thought last night was Washington metro would see brief periods of rain/sleet mixing in to suppress snowfall totals somewhat, but Dulles Int'l Airport would stay all snow. Same story with an all-snow scenario for BWI.

Harrisburg-Allentown: Well away from tonight's action, thus lower snowfall totals for Harrisburg. I went with two inches for MDT, and even that seemed a bit on the high side for me. Allentown seems to be something of a snowfall hot spot in Eastern Pennsylvania, so I fudged the numbers for them a bit higher.

Philadelphia: You'll either love me or hate me for this one, Philly; this is where I see the beginnings of double-digit numbers for the snowfall totals. So far, so good; this area is solidly all snow based on the latest radar image on weather.com and I'm feeling confident The City of Brotherly Love will get 10 inches of snow.

New York City metro area: This was a tough call for me, and I hate trying to make a call for places so close to the ocean as coastal areas have been---based on my past observations---prone to a wintry mix if not an all-rain event. My numbers could had been higher, however, I am looking for a mixed precipitation event for a brief period of time, so I settled on 7 inches for Newark and NYC. And I won't even say anything about how hard I had to twist my own arm just to settle on 6 inches for Islip.

Boston: In hindsight, this is the place I am second-guessing myself; again, a coastal location leading me to factor in the possibility of brief mixed precipitation suppressing snowfall totals. If the event remains all snow, Beantown is going to get more than a measly 8 inches out of this storm, a prediction I may very well regret. Hyannis ALWAYS drives me bonkers, so let's see if they make it to 3 and 1/2 inches.

Concord: I am mentioning this only because they seem to be the snowfall hot spot of the East Coast this year. They are already way the hell above their normal snowfall totals for the season, so call it a gut feeling if you like, but I have them listed for 14 and 1/2 inches!!!

That is all I have for tonight. Feel free to give us a play-by-play account of the action where you live.

If you are currently watching coverage of the upcoming East Coast snowstorm on The Weather Channel, you are seeing and hearing this being referred to as a "Megastorm".



MEGASTORM!!??



Are you out of your fucking minds?! C'mon, even Joe Bastardi isn't going overboard in making such claims, and it would be the kind of Failcasting I would expect out of him. I guess The Weather Channel needs a HYPErstorm to boost the ratings---note the way I spell that, as this is all The Weather Channel is doing for those aforementioned ratings.

I guess for me to describe The Weather Channel as 'irresponsible' is being nice----maybe too nice. How's about 'inept'? Maybe even 'incompetent'? Anything more and you would need to change the settings for this Yahoogroup to Adults Only.

Tell you what....gimme about an hour (give or take) and lemme see if I can compose something describing this snowstorm that vastly improves on The Weather Channel.

Feh.....Megastorm, indeed!

Oh, what the hell.....

Way to go, Detroit Lions!! With a loss to the Green Bay Packers on the final game of the 2008 season, the Detroit Lions have accomplished what no NFL team has ever done before---play an entire season without winning any games. I knew you had it in you!!!




DETROIT LION JOKES


Q. How do the Detroit Lions count to 10?
A. 0-1, 0-2, 0-3, 0-4, 0-5, 0-6, 0-7, 0-8, 0-9, 0-10


Q. What do the Detroit Lions & Billy Graham have in common?
A. They both can make 60,000 people stand up & yell "Jesus Christ"!


Q. How do you keep a Detroit Lion out of your yard?
A. Put up goal posts


Q. Where do you go in Detroit in case of a tornado?
A. To Ford Field - they never get a touchdown there


Q. Why are the Lions like a tampon?
A. They are only good for one period and have no second string.


Q. What's the difference between the Detroit Lions and a dollar bill?
A. You can still get four quarters out of a dollar


Q. What's the first thing Lions fans will hear when the Lions win the Super Bowl?
A. Their alarm clocks


Q. What do the Detroit Lions and possums have in common?
A. Both play dead at home and get killed on the road


Q. How can you tell when the Detroit Lions are going to run the football?
A. The running back leaves the huddle with tears in his eyes.

And bricks were shat.....

John McCain is in a shitload of trouble now...all the news networks have just called the state of Pennsylvania for Barack Obama. Like I alluded to earlier this evening, John McCain really needed my state to have any chance at victory tonight, and now their is no safety net left; all states that went to George Bush 4 years ago absolutely must break towards McCain, or it's all over and I just might make a projection very soon.

Vote tallies are starting to come in from states that have closed their polls early. At this point, it is waaaay too early to even begin to project who is going to be the next resident of The White House.

The way I see it in the early stages, there are three states I am watching that in my opinion will determine how the night will play out:

Virginia
Pennsylvania
Ohio


If Barack Obama takes all three states, then it will be a very long and disappointing night for John McCain. Worse still, John McCain must win Pennsylvania to have any chance at winning---no ands, ifs, or buts about it.

In the weeks leading up to the election, it took little effort to find a news site that featured a map of the U.S. with projections of how the electoral votes would go based on opinion polls. Behind the cut is a copy of two maps I have been tracking very closely:

( Tale Of The Tape )

It that time in the political cycle again here in the United States, and suffice it to say there hasn't been a dull moment. So, who should I vote for?


John McCain?


Barack Obama?


Feh. Amatuers!!


Not when there is another candidate who is a master of bringing about true change. Although he has been largely ignored by the news media, his campaign shall arise like Lazarus and before you know, every Tom, Dick, Harry, Smith and Jones will rally behind his campaign to the sound of drums like a family of blood that will leave the pretenders for office scurrying like the runaway bride.

Sure, it would be human nature to dismiss such grandiose claims, but before you can blink, he will be on his way to Washington D.C. to end the never-ending gridlock that plagues our government and bring about Utopia.

I have seen for myself the plan he has for the future of America and all mankind, and I can only say that unless someone finds a way to doctor the vote counts, his plans are so out of this world, it'll kill ya!

( My Endorsement For President Of The United States )

Just the usual thunderstorms rolling through the area yesterday. What makes this one a wee bit special was the air was a bit clearer than usual and I got a good view of the storm as it approached. Better yet, it just missed me as it passed to the north. One picture behind the LJ cut with more to follow later. In before end of the month.....

( Stormy Weather )

JESUS GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING CHRIST ON A POGO STICK, LIVEJOURNAL!!

Can't you incompetent, inept imbeciles even run an election for your own Advisory Board right!!??

Or perhaps you intend to turn a blind eye to obvious election fraud, especially when it means one of your own may end up winning? Talk about your Soviet-style elections. Goddamn, you make an election in the African nation of Chad look legitimate!

I've been following the vote count throughout this fiasco. Okay, it's not like I think it will really matter who wins because VileJournal A.) will only ignore anything their Advisory Board has to say anyways, and B.) its only a Dog & Pony Show public relations move to begin with. Which makes me question somewhat why Squeaky over at InsaneJournal is running for the position given LiveJournal's track record over the past year or three. Uh-oh....I'm digressing again.

Anyway, jameth was holding a reasonably comfortable lead going into the weekend, then all of a sudden, the vote count legomymalfoy explodes like an atomic bomb. Even as I type this, I am monitoring the numbers, and the vote totals are climbing faster than at any time since this farce began.

Folks, if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and sounds like a duck, it's a frakking duck! If it looks like voting fraud, walks like voting fraud, and sounds like voting fraud, then you can bet the mortgage it's voting fraud.

Yes, I here and now state for the record the fanfags are committing voting fraud, and in the process making a mockery of the democratic process as we know it. But don't simply take my word for it...see for yourself one of several admissions of guilt you can find on LJ if you take the time to look and know where to look:





*sigh*

You know, I used to have lots of sympathy for the fanfags over the bullshit VileJournal was doing to them, and I even created another journal over on InsaneJournal. Don't get me wrong---my opinion of VileJournal has not changed, that account on InsaneJournal is there to stay, and in the not-too-distant future the vast majority of my blogging will happen there. But when you batshit insane fuckers use sock accounts to stuff the ballot boxes, you have shown your true colors. But this isn't what finally pushed me over the edge. See my next posting to follow.....

Earlier today, jack4will's hubby called to wish me a happy Mothers Day.

Okay....I can hear all of you saying 'that makes no sense because you are a guy.'.

'Tis true, but he did say he was wishing me a happy Mothers Day because I am the biggest 'mother' he knows.

Yes, this really did happen. I had too much stuff to do around the apartment today, otherwise they would had taken me out to dinner today like the past couple of years, and also explained to our waiter how I am the biggest mother they know. Yes, we really did do this.

OMFG!!!111!!!oneeleventy!!!11


You are not going to believe this.


I mean, you really, Really, REALLY are not going to believe this one!!!!


Okay, to set the stage, our local news rag, the Harrisburg Patriot-News, likes to do this thing where they slap a sticker advertisement somewhere on the front page of their newspapers. Usually, they put this thing on the upper left hand corner.

Well, this morning's paper did not do that. The front page had a picture of Hillary Clinton and Barak Obama, and this sticker advertisement was slapped on...well, I took a picture of the one I bought this afternoon, so look behind the LJ cut and see for yourself.

( This Is Too Funny!!! )

At long last, after six long weeks of being bombarded day and night by political propaganda, Primary Election Day in Pennsylvania has finally---and mercifully---arrived. I want to get this composed and posted before the polls close within the next half hour.

When all the votes are counted tonight, I think there are two things that need to be looked at:

On The Democratic Side: If Billary is to have any legitimate reason to continue on with her campaign, she must win Pennsylvania, and win this state by a huge margin. It was only one month ago that she had a 20-point lead over Obama in the polls, and here we are on Election Day and the polls say that lead is in the single digits.

As I see it, she needs that 20-point win to even have a chance to catch up to Obama in the delegate count and legitimately stay in the race. Yes, I know that number sounds outrageous, but I think she really needs to score that big of a win because the other primary elections in others states, especially North Carolina in two weeks, look like they will favor Obama.

A 10-point win would be impressive, but a huge win by Obama in North Carolina in two weeks would in my opinion cancel that out.

A Clinton win in the single digits is bad news because she would not gain much after the convention delegates are allocated. At best, her campaign would be on life support.

And if she loses? Forget about it...stick a fork in her because she would be finished. Lose this state and she is totally and completely fucked.



On The Republican Side: You mean there is a campaign on the Republican side? Is John McCain actually running? You wouldn't know it by all the Ron Paul For President campaign signs I have been seeing around here for the past two weeks. Oh, sure John McCain takes Pennsylvania---that much is a given. What I am interested in is how many votes does Ron Paul, who isn't even actively campaigning, get from today's vote. I gotta tell you I do know Republicans around these parts that are less than satisfied with McCain as the Republican candidate for president. A larger-than-expected vote for Ron Paul means McCain has got some problems.

And how did I vote? I will deal with that another day when I make my endorsement posting(s) for president. Suffice it to say I will have enough to say that will piss off both parties.

Well, okay, I will say something about one of my votes. Each candidate for U.S. House of Representatives in both parties are running unopposed, it won't hurt anything if I were to do this anyway, so I did a write-in vote. Yes, I really did do this!!

Well, this has been an unusual day around here. Today, we here in Pennsylvania---well, at least around here where I live---are experiencing our first outbreak of thunderstorms of 2008.

To set the stage, the normal state of things around these parts here in Pennsylvania when it comes to the passing thunderstorm is that they generally move southwest to northeast, west to east, sometimes even northwest to southeast....something like that.

Not so today. Would you believe the thunderstorms that have passed through this region today have been moving---are you ready for this---southeast to northwest!

Yes, you did read this right.

Southeast to northwest.

Definitely an unusual way to see these things travel, and the only thing that tops this is the sequence of thunderstorms we had around here last June,

But don't just take my word for it. They say a picture is worth at least a thousand words. Well, I'll let the image that follows do the talking, which appears behind the LJ-cut.


( A Picture Is Worth At Least One Thousand Words )

Words cannot describe the sinful life I have been living, which has been pointed out to me recently. After thinking things over very carefully, I have decided today to accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior.

With my decision, I must let go of my sinful past; I can no longer participate in any further dead pooling, as this is the work of Satan. I can no longer watch Doctor Who as the main character has more than once referred to himself as something of a god, which is wrong because there is only One True God, and I will also be giving away my Doctor Who collection---sorry handrejka but it's my eternal soul that is at stake. I also will not be watching Torchwood from this day forward as this promotes a sinful lifestyle.

I can go on and on, but you can better understand my decision today if I were to show you what started me onto the Path To Righteousness. Perhaps after you see this web site, you will also come to know the glory and love of Jesus Christ.

Don't miss this one time opportunity! See our lord and savior arise in more ways than one in a special performance!

Yes!! It's true!! Archaeologists have recently unearthed irrefutable proof the crucifixion of Jesus Christ did happen! It appears the history books did not mention that they didn't exactly get it right the first time around.

What? Were you actually expecting to see a real peep show? You sick bastards!! LOL!!!